


butterscotch

by deathlytireddan



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Dreams, M/M, adam demanding kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlytireddan/pseuds/deathlytireddan
Summary: He slowly curls around Adam, digs his stupid pointy chin into Adam's shoulder. "Adam. Adam. I love you too."-An accidental dream date.





	butterscotch

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Brief vomit mention (details in the end notes but it is really brief), implied child abuse, implied sex (no actual sexy times or any descriptive kissing really), strong language.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Adam sighs, stares at the half-finished college applications and text books and papers scattered on the kitchen table. He needs to focus, can't stop looking at his phone. Gansey should have called by now.

Adam tries not to worry. They are probably swimming in a waterfall, crossing a rope bridge, eating strange food. He sets his phone under a textbook and leans forward, picking up a pencil. He needs to do this.

He can hear Ronan's voice in his head, telling him off: 'For fuck's sake, Parrish. You don't need to worry this much.'

His phone vibrates. Adam takes it out from under the textbook and smiles, relieved.

Adam answers, leaning back in the chair. His neck needs the break, he thinks. Then he thinks he doesn't need an excuse for taking a break from something he doesn't need to do yet. 

"Adam Parrish!" It's Blue's voice, surprisingly.

"Blue?" Adam is instantly worried. She doesn't sound upset. But Blue is gifted, like the rest of them, at hiding herself. "Is Gansey okay? Henry?" 

The worry over Henry is another surprise, not entirely welcome. Letting someone else into his life, their lives, had been hard, especially so late in the game. 

He hears her laugh, say something muffled to someone else. "No, we're fine."

"He cares for me!" That's Henry, Adam thinks.

"Gansey...Gansey is sick," Blue says, mirth in her voice. "He ate something, I don't know what. Some kind of delicacy here, I guess." She trails off, listening to something.

"No!" Blue says loudly, making Adam wince. "Stay in bed! I'm not making these poor, tired women clean up your vomit again!" She scoffs. "Adam, make Gansey stay in bed." 

There's a cracking sound, and then Adam is talking to Gansey, warm tones and scratchy throat. "Adam, how are you? Is the college life treating you well?" 

Adam relaxes. "I'm alright," he says. "What did you eat?" He'd rather not talk about himself. He doesn't think there is ever a time that's his preferred option.

"I'm not quite sure, to be honest," Gansey says hesitantly, embarrassed. "I've been put under house arrest while Henry and Jane are exploring. It's very boring."

Adam images himself with them. The sheer joy of it all is overwhelming.

"But I want to hear about you! Is Ronan treating you well?"

Adam tries not to be annoyed. He should have known Gansey would ask. "You know he is," he says. How could Ronan not?

"I just need to be sure, Adam. You both hurt each other, you know."

Adam can't deny that. He hesitates. "It's what I expected. I like it. It's...easy."

Gansey laughs. "Ronan Lynch, easy." 

"No, that's not what I meant. It's hard, really hard." Adam struggles to find the right words. "I'm tired, I really want to take a nap right now. But it's nice." 

"I understand," Gansey says, sounding almost wistful now.

They breathe together, Adam listening to Henry and Blue in the background. He's glad Gansey is happy. It just feels so strange. Being apart after months of such close contact is strange. 

Adam is afraid of how alone he'll feel, when he leaves, compared to the rest of them. Ronan will have Opal, his dreams, his home. Gansey and Blue and Henry have each other, their adventures, their happiness.

Adam will have himself, his classes, his ever so far away home. It's selfish, probably, to think that way. 

"Adam?" 

Adam shakes himself. "Yeah?" He hopes Gansey wasn't talking.

"I feel I need to hang up now," Gansey says tightly.

Adam winces. "Alright." He hangs up, stares at the phone in his hands, glances to the papers in front of him. Adam gets to work. No rest for the weary, as Gansey would say.

'Shithead, take a fucking break and feed a cow,' as Ronan would say. 

-

Ronan is inside from the fields earlier than usual, finds Adam before he has a chance to clear away his mess.

He leans against the table, surveys Adam's careful writing and open laptop. Adam looks at him defiantly, guiltily. 

"Applications?" Ronan asks with a carefully neutral voice.

Adam winces. "I thought I'd do them now," he hesitates, "so we have more time later." 

"You know that doesn't mean anything," Ronan says, moving away from the table to search the kitchen. "You're still using the same amount of time."

Adam rolls his eyes, gestures to a covered bowl on the counter. "I made you food." 

He watches Ronan lift the dish cloth off the bowl, watches him look at Adam with surprise. "You made me fucking mac and cheese? You're a goddamn housewife, Adam Parrish!" 

Adam rolls his eyes, curses the way his ears flush. "I'm the one in this relationship that's actually seeking higher education."

"Oooh, higher education." Ronan shoves a spoonful of mac and cheese into his mouth and actually moans. 

Adam scoffs, gathering his last paper. "Stop that."

"My housewife makes the best mac and cheese in Virginia!" Ronan isn't even embarrassed by that statement, while Adam's cheeks flush and a shy smile appears.

Adam hates him. 

He watches the way Ronan wipes his mouth, missing a bit of cheese on the corner. Ronan is still moaning obscenely, looking completely ridiculous in his mud caked shoes and plaid work jacket, probably smelling like the seventh circle of hell. 

Ronan looks up. His eyebrows raise at Adam's soft gaze. "What?"

Adam abandons his pile of paper on the counter and puts his arms around Ronan's hips, sneaking a few fingers under his shirt. He's right, Ronan does smell. Not too bad, though. 

Ronan sets his empty bowl in the sink and loops his fingers through Adam's belt loops. 

"Did you dream magical deodorant?" Adam asks from the crook of Ronan's neck, watches his cheeks warm smugly.

Pay back, bitch.

"No, why the hell would I do that?" Ronan denies, obviously flustered.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you want to smell nice for your 'housewife?'" Adam is almost giggling at Ronan's face of sheer discomfort. He tries to squirm away but Adam chases him, pinning him against the fridge.

"You aren't goin' anywhere," Adam drawls.

Ronan gulps.

-

Adam wakes up walking. It's a strange feeling, to say the least. The world tips and he falls, head hitting the pavement with an uncomfortable cracking sound. Somehow it doesn't hurt. 

"What the hell?" Adam mutters, turning onto his side and touching his head, feeling for the blood that must be there. He blinks, noticing Ronan for the first time. 

"What're you doing here?" Adam stares up at him.

Ronan stares back, frozen.

Adam groans, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. He's horribly confused, the world seeming to spin and shift in front of him. Ronan's the only thing that doesn't move. 

Adam stretches his hand forward, grasping for Ronan. Ronan unfreezes, falls to his knees, clutches Adam's hands, sides, his jaw. "Adam, Adam, what's wrong? Tell me!"

Adam closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. "Where am I?"

"In my dream. Adam, Adam, open your eyes."

Adam does not want to. He does for Ronan, though, and finds the world has stopped shifting and spinning and changing. He sits up slowly, holding onto Ronan's arm for support. "I don't understand," he whispers, looking around.

They're in Singer's Falls, he thinks. Maybe. 

"Hey, it's okay." Ronan cups his jaw. "You fell into my dream or some shit. Does your head hurt?" 

"No." Adam shakes his head. He looks around, more closely. Everything looks similar, but different. More magical, more quiet. This must be Ronan's home through Ronan's eyes, Adam realizes.

There is a billboard in the distance. Adam recognizes tan skin and blue eyes and freckles. He looks away quickly. Ronan doesn't seem to have noticed, is too busy making sure every bit of Adam is okay. 

Adam nudges his hands away, regrets it. "I'm okay. Ronan, I'm okay." He understands Ronan's panic, tries to sooth it. Adam moves up, ignoring Ronan's complaints. 

Ronan's hands hover. 

"You can hold my hand," Adam says, a little amused. He squeezes Ronan's fingers and slowly tugs, pulling him down the street. 

The Ronan-filter is on everything. Adam wonders if Ronan even realizes. He probably doesn't. 

"How often does this happen?" Adam asks, peering into a store window. 

Three little boys, two with dark curls and one with golden, are trying to reach a container of candy. The tallest is watching, giving orders they both ignore. The middle one starts climbing the shelf, knocking things off. 

Ronan tugs him away, a pained look on his face. 

"Sorry," Adam says. Does that play on repeat every time Ronan is here? Is here even a place that has existed more than once?

Ronan shakes his head. "Don't say sorry." 

"You were cute, you know," Adam whispers, almost not wanting Ronan to hear. 

"Were?" Ronan leads him, still so gentle, toward an ice cream parlor. 

"Yes."

"Fuck off, that is not true!" 

Adam laughs, trips, tries to catch himself on Ronan and shoves him into a lamp post. 

Ronan pushes cold fingers under Adam's shirt in retaliation.

"Jesus Christ!" Adam squeaks, shoving Ronan away. "I hate you," he groans, pulling his shirt down. 

"You need warmer clothes, Parrish," Ronan notes, looking Adam up and down. He still looks worried. 

Adam looks right back. "I think you need warmer hands, Mr. Lynch." 

Ronan opens and closes his mouth. Adam is proud, in a stupid mushy way. 

"Anyway," Adam says, voice neutral and insides hopeful and warm at Ronan's soft eyes, "Ice cream?" He grips Ronan's fingers again.

Ronan looks surprised. Adam is always happy when he can do that.

Ronan's voice is soft, curious, "This is a shit date." He looks wary, afraid to get it wrong.

Adam leans into Ronan's furnace-like warmth. "I'm not the one who pulled their date into their dream."

Ronan scowls. "I didn't do it on purpose!" 

"Then why did you?" Adam opens the parlor door. It looks like something out of the 50s, black and white floor and vinyl booths, completely empty. 

Ronan's eyebrows lower. Adam rolls his eyes, walks around the counter and searches through the retro fridge, finds malted milk and milk and butterscotch ice cream. 

"Milkshake?" He asks, opening the ice cream. 

Ronan sits on a stool, arms folded on the table. He watches Adam's hands scoop out ice cream in perfect balls and turn on the strangely modern blender. "Where did you learn all that?" He asks curiously, watching Adam pour in milk and malt. 

"I had a summer job when I was thirteen," Adam says. Not that he had summer jobs the way other teenagers did. 

"You worked when you were thirteen?" Ronan looks annoyed. 

Adam turns off the blender and pours the milkshakes, debating what to say. That he started helping his father in the garage when he was five, handing him tools? 

"Yeah," Adam says finally. "I did. It was me or a sixteen year old. I got the job."

Ronan grins. "I bet they were a lazy fuck."

Really? Adam shakes his head, pushing a milkshake toward Ronan. He wonders what Ronan would do if he knew what his dad did, how Adam begged for that stupid job. 

They move to a booth, sitting side by side. 

"This is the the best butterscotch I've ever had," he says. Ronan shifts, smiles into his milkshake. Adam is suspicious. 

But he quickly lowers the eyebrows again. Ronan somehow, someway, manages to make drinking a milkshake look threatening, to Adam's amusement. Who does he need to impress? 

Adam realizes it's him, probably. 

"You don't need to do that," He says, having another realization. He is allowed to say things to Ronan now, technically. "Make yourself look all intimating. It's just me." 

"I have to keep you around somehow, don't I?" Ronan nudges him with an elbow. 

"You think I think that's sexy?" Adam is shocked and amused all at once. He wonders what the hell gave Ronan that impression. It isn't completely wrong, not all the time. But still.

"Well you're living with me, aren't you?" Ronan looks put out. 

Adam snickers, covers his face with his hands. Of all the things Ronan could have said. 

Adam finally looks up to see Ronan staring at him, straw still in his mouth. Lynch," he says, still giggling, "you are an idiot." 

"Oh, fuck off." Ronan glares. He actually looks offended. Adam suppresses another snicker. "Why are you with me then?" Ronan asks, a genuine question. 

All the mirth leaves Adam's chest. He turns to Ronan, grips the front of his shirt. Hesitates. Adam has never been good with words the way Gansey is, or able to convey feeling through his body the way Ronan can.

"Lynch. Ronan. You listen to baby mice's heartbeats. You cook me breakfast in the morning. You let me tease you until you want to scream but you don't." Adam shakes his head. "You're an idiot. That's why." 

"Oh." Ronan stares at him, red lips parted, eyes searching. 

"I thought that was obvious. What are boyfriends for, then? Fucking?" It's Adam's turn to glare.

Ronan's gasp is giddy and pleased. "I never expected such language from you, Parrish." But his eyes are still wide, blue, naked. 

"Oh shut the fuck up and kiss me." Adam says, unable to keep the smile from his voice, feeling like he's been pulled apart and put back together again. But with new, shiny pieces. 

Ronan crushes his mouth, so very gently. His body relaxes under Adam's hands, grips the back of his shirt. 

-

Adam wakes slowly, cracking his eyes open. The sun is high in the sky, if the way it is directly in Adam's face says anything. He turns over, making small noises of complaint into his pillow.

Where the hell is Ronan? 

He stretches his arms up, rubbing his eyes. A note is resting on the sheets next to him. 

'Had to feed the chickens, sleepy shit. Don't worry, I didn't let you sleep too late.' 

Adam's lips twitch. He sets the note inside a chemistry book on the nightstand, one Ronan won't dare open. It joins several others. 

Adam sits, pulls the half fallen off blankets back up. He half expects Ronan to jump out as he stands, make some kind of comment about his ass. But he doesn't. Adam is stupidly sad. 

He finds a pair of sweatpants and sits back on the bed, checking the time on his watch and strapping it to his wrist. Ronan was right, it isn't too late. Adam stands, toe hitting something mostly shoved under the bed. 

Adam bends down, picks it up. 

It's a box of assorted German chocolates. Adam sets one on his tongue, finds they melt like butter and have some kind of very sticky butterscotch on the inside. 

Adam distantly remembers telling Ronan he wanted butterscotch flavored gum, one late night. It's his favorite flavor, just like the ice cream last night. 

Adam lets out a breath, sets the chocolates on their bed and bends down again, finds a folded up hoodie, almost uncomfortably soft and warm to the touch, like it's just come out of the laundry. 

He pulls it on, discovers the shape is perfect and hugs his torso. Adam's throat burns, just a bit. He pulls the sleeves over his hands and takes a deep breath, smells a familiar yet now distant smell.

Adam would think making a dream hoodie that smells like yourself was arrogant, if he didn't know Ronan.

He chews the butterscotch gum, moves to the window and pushes the thin lacy curtains aside. Ronan is carrying a huge hay bale, shirtless. Opal runs after him with a smaller hay bale and a baby goat at her heels.

Adam sniffs the edge of his sleeve. "Jackass," he mutters. 

Smiles.

-

That night, when he's finished his applications and Opal is in bed, when Ronan has showered and smells fresh and soft, Adam finally talks

Ronan won't get up, even if he gets mad, not right now. They always watch shitty movies at night, or talk, or sleep. He knows it would hurt Adam, in a different way, if he left during their time.

They are both wrapped in a blanket, the top of Ronan's shoulders and collarbones visible, a few red spots making Adam smile.

"You need sunscreen," he says, as the the movie ends

Ronan rolls his eyes, pulls the blanket up to his chin. Adam is horrible indeared. "We can't all be sun-kissed or whatever," Ronan says. 

Adam hesitates. He hasn't mentioned the probably accidental presents all day, had taken the hoodie off before joining Ronan in the fields.

"Thank you for the chocolate. And the hoodie."

Ronan shifts, shrugs. "Welcome," he says finally.

This should be easy. Yet, it feels oddly formal, in a way Adam hasn't anticipated. 

"Ronan." He sounds more fragile than he intended. Adam takes a deep breath, fixes his features into something casual. 

Ronan looks up sharply. "Is something wrong? Do I need to fight someone?"

Adam rolls his eyes. He pushes his hair out of his eyes. "No."

Adam rests his head against the cushions, looks at Ronan with dark eyes. There are so many ridicules things he wants to say right now. Like how he loves Ronan with every bit of himself that knows how to love.

Adam Parrish has always done everything too much. He feels everything too much.

"You're an ass," Adam decides. "Stop looking so worried I'm gonna leave." He doesn't mean to say it, doesn't mean to sound so angry.

Ronan curls an arm around Adam's ribs. "Motherfucker."

"No, Ronan-fucker," Adam corrects, watches the way Ronan's cheeks flame.

"That's rude," Ronan mutters. 

"Not as rude as thinking I'll leave." Adam says. Ronan looks down. Adam huffs, exasperated. "I'm serious! I'm not leaving. And even when I do I won't be!"

"Eloquent." 

"Ronan!" Adam snaps, retreats into himself, hurt.

Ronan swallows. He slowly curls around Adam, digs his stupid pointy chin into Adam's shoulder. "Adam. Adam. I love you too." 

"Good. That's good." Adam is annoyed to find his hands are shaking, salt dripping into his mouth.

Ronan pulls away, just enough to see his face, wipes under Adam's eyes with his fingers. "I'm glad we're in agreement." 

Adam laughs, breathless and choked. "That'd be awkward."

"Yeah." 

He feels light, and airy, and relieved, and tired. "Let's go to bed," Adam says. 

Ronan nods, looking at him reverently. "Okay, Adam."

**Author's Note:**

> Gansey is sick. Blue tells him not to vomit again.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! I finally posted it after way too much editing. I'm still not sold on the characterization, if you could give me feedback on that it would be very appreciated :D
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](https://nostalgiclondon.tumblr.com)


End file.
